Car & Cat Videos ++

The flooding continues. I’m too lazy to even try to stop it. It’s just one of those down days I guess.

So how many of you have the chance to see a real Mercedes SLK? How many of you get the chance of seeing it rolling on the road? How many of you had actually tried out-running it and have the video to prove that your car is no match for a car that costs around half a million? I do =D But to be honest, I didn’t put the pedal to the metal and he certainly didn’t put much force on his right foot.

Watch us chase a SLK! (500 something KB)

It’s pretty interesting to see someone in trouble and pretending not to help. It gets even more interesting when you take a video while your cat MUTILATES the rat it caught. No cats were harmed during the production of this video. The rat, however, was found rotting the next day in the very same room.

Download the video (500 something KB). Remember, you have been warned.

You know, tell me if you think that embedding a player to play videos on this site is a better idea than just giving you a link to the actual file. I’ll tell you why you’re wrong.

I was chatting with a friend of mine whom I haven’t seen for a long time, and he’s working in a pharmacy as a part-timer. The pharmacy that he works in is no ordinary pharmacy. It’s a pharmacy that sells all sorts of sex-related things. From viagra to condoms to you-know-what. So working there has certainly made him gain a lot more knowledge. Did you know that there’re stuff that can make a person horny? And do you know that 3 viagra pills costs roughly RM200? That’s way too much to pay for sex if you ask me =D No wonder they say prevention is better than cure.

The conversation drifted on to cleaner topics like girls and relationships. He gave a very interesting quote (or rather a quote that I find interesting). It goes like this: Girls will offer sex for love and guys will offer love for sex. Which basically means that a girl will have sex with you even if she doesn’t want to, just so that she can get his love / maintain the relationship. For guys, in exchange for the love they give you, they will want sex. In other words, guys want sex and girls want love. It’s so simple that it becomes complicated.

And this is the one thing that I hate about some guys, including myself. They take advantage of that weakness in girls and make them do things that they don’t want to do. Girls will do anything to save their relationship. Anything. Sexual favours included.

So an advise to the guys, don’t take advantage of your girlfriend and don’t take her for granted. You’ll regret. For first time boyfriends or failures, read http://betterboyfriend.blogspot.com/

For the ladies, don’t be looked down upon as the weaker sex. You both have equal say in this relationship. Unless of course if you are from some country that does not have equal rights for women (i.e. women cannot vote). Continue reading

Mis-Translations

Acapulco hotel sign: The manager has personally passed all
the water served here.

Athens Hotel: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours
of 9 and 11 daily.

Athens, Greece hotel: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between
the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.

Austrian hotel catering to skiers: Not to perambulate the corridors in the
hours of repose in the boots of ascension.

Bangkok dry cleaners: Drop your trousers here for best results.

Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed
as a man.

Belgrade hotel elevator: To move the cabin, push botton for wishing floor. If
the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing
floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.

Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that
time we regret that you will be unbearable.

Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food,
give it to the guard on duty.

Copenhagen airline ticket office: WE take your bags and send them in all
directions.

Czechoslovakian tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven city tours–we
guarantee no miscarriages.

Denmark: in a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send
them in all directions.

Finnish washroom faucet: To stop the drip, turn ***** to right.

German/Austria: a sign in a hotel catering to skiers read Not to perambulate
the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.

German/Germany: in a Leipzig elevator: Do not enter the lift backwards, and
only when lit up.

Germany’s Black forest sign: It is strictly forbidden on our black forest
camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live
together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.

Hong Kong supermarket: For your convenience, we recommend courageous,
efficient self-service.

Hong Kong tailor shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

Istanbul hotel corridor sign: Please to evacuate in hall especially which is
accompanied by rude noises.

Japanese hotel room: Please to bathe inside the tub.

Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

Japanese information booklet about a hotel air conditioner: Cooles and Heates:
If you want just condition of war in your room, please control yourself.

Kyushi, Japan Detour sign: Stop: Drive Sideways.

Leipzig elevator: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.

London department store: Bargain basement upstairs.

London office: After tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside
down on the draining board.

Majorcan shop entrance: English well talking.

Majorcan shop entrance: Here speeching American.

Moscow hotel lobby across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: You are welcome
to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists and
writers are buried daily except Thursday.

Moscow hotel room door: If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.

Norwegian *****tail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have children in the
bar.

Paris dress shop: Dresses for street walking.

Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk.

Rhodes tailor shop: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will
execute customers in strict rotation.

Roman doctor’s office: Specialist in women and other diseases.

Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having
a good time.

Sweden: in the window of a Swedish furrier: Fur coats made for ladies from
their own skin.

Swiss mountain inn: Special today — no ice cream.

Thailand: an ad for donkey rides asked Would you like to ride on your own
ass?.

Tokyo bar: Special *****tails for the ladies with nuts.

Tokyo hotel: Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person
to do such thing is please not to read this notice.

Tokyo shop: Our nylons cost more than common, but you’ll find they are best
in the long run.

Vienna hotel: In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter.

Vienna, Austria hotel: In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel
porter.

Yugoslavia: a sign in a hotel read The flattening of underwear with pleasure
is the job of the chambermaid. Turn to her straightaway.

Yugoslavia: in the Europa Hotel, in Sarajevo, you will find this message on
every door: Guests should announce the abandonment of theirs rooms before 12
o’clock, emptying the room at the latest until 14 o’clock, for the use of the
room before 5 at the arrival or after the 16 o’clock at the departure, will be
billed as one night more..

Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the
opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this
purpose. Continue reading

Actual signs

At a Music Store: Out to lunch. Bach at 12:30. Offenbach sooner.

At a number of US military bases: Restricted to unauthorized
personnel.

At a pizza shop: 7 days without pizza makes one weak.

At a Santa Fe gas station: We will sell gasoline to anyone
in a glass container.

At a tire shop in Milwaukee: Invite us to your next blowout.

At a Towing Company: We don’t charge an arm and a leg. We
want tows.

At a Used Car Lot: Second Hand cars in first crash condition.

At an Auto Body Shop: May we have the next dents?

At an optometrist’s office: If you don’t see what you’re
looking for, you’ve come to the right place.

At the electric company: We would be delighted if you send
in your bill. However, if you don’t, you will be.

At the entrance of the large machinery plant: Warning to
young ladies: If you wear loose clothes, beware of the machinery. If you wear
tight clothes, beware of the machinist.

Billboard on the side of the road: Keep your eyes on the
road and stop reading these signs.

Car Lot: The best way to get on your feet….Miss a car
payment.

Church sign: To remove worry wrinkles, get your faith
lifted.

Door of a plastic surgeon’s office: Hello. May we pick your
nose?

English Sign in German Cafe: Mothers, Please Wash Your Hands
Before Eating.

Gym: Merry Fitness and a Happy New Rear!

In a Beauty Shop: Dye now!

In a cafeteria: Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria.
Socks can eat any place they want.

In a cleaner’s window: Anyone leaving their garments here
for more than 30 days will be disposed of.

In a counselors office: Growing old is mandatory, growing
wise is optional.

In a dentist office: Be true to your teeth or they will be
false to you.

In a department store: Bargain Basement Upstairs.

In a dry cleaner’s emporium: Drop your pants here.

In a dry cleaner’s window: Anyone leaving their garments
here for more than 30 days will be disposed of.

In a farmer’s field: The farmer allows walkers to cross the
field for free, but be aware that the bull charges.

In a Florida maternity ward: No children allowed.

In a health food shop window: Closed due to illness.

In a hotel during a conference: For anyone who has children
and doesn’t know it, there is day care on the first floor.

In a Laundromat: Automatic washing machines. Please remove
all your clothes when the light goes out.

In a Los Angeles clothing store: Wonderful bargains for men
with 16 and 17 necks.

In a Los Angeles dance hall: Good clean dancing every night
but Sunday.

In a Maine restaurant: Open seven days a week and weekends.

In a New York medical building: Mental Health Prevention
Center

In a New York restaurant: Customers who find our waitresses
rude ought to see the manager.

In a non-smoking area: If we see smoke, we will assume you
are on fire and take appropriate action.

In a Pennsylvania cemetery: Persons are prohibited from
picking flowers from any but their own graves.

In a Podiatrist’s window: Time wounds all heels.

In a restaurant window: Don’t stand there and be hungry,
come in and get fed up.

In a safari park: Elephants please stay in your car

In a Tacoma, Washington men’s clothing store: 15 men’s wool
suits – $100 – They won’t last an hour!

In a Texas funeral parlor: Ask about our layaway plan.

In a toilet: Toilet out of order. Please use floor below.

In a veterinarian’s waiting room: Be back in 5 minutes. Sit!
Stay!

In an office building washroom: Toilet out of order. Please
use floor below.

In an office: After the tea break, staff should empty the
teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.

In an office: Would the person who took the step ladder
yesterday kindly bring it back or further steps will be taken.

In downtown Boston: Callahan Tunnel – NO END

In front of a New Hampshire car wash: If you can’t read
this, it’s time to wash your car.

In the front yard of a funeral home: Drive carefully. We’ll
wait.

In the offices of a New Jersey loan company: Ask about our
plans for owning your home.

In the vestry of a New England church: Will the last person
to leave please see that the perpetual light is extinguished.

In the window of a Kentucky appliance store: Don’t kill your
wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work.

In the window of an Oregon general store: Why go elsewhere
to be cheated, when you can come here?

Inside a bowling alley: Please be quiet. We need to hear a
pin drop.

Maternity Clothes Shop: We are open on Labor Day.

Message on a leaflet: If you cannot read, this leaflet will
tell you how to get lessons.

Notice in a field: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field
for free, but the bull charges.

On a butcher’s window: Let me meat your needs.

On a church door: This is the gate of Heaven. Enter ye all
by this door. (This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use side
entrance)

On a desk in a reception room: We shoot every 3rd salesman,
and the 2nd one just left.

On a display of "I love you only" Valentine cards:
Now available in multi-packs.

On a fence: Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive.

On a local plumbing company’s trucks in NE Pennsylvania: Don’t
sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.

On a Maine shop: Our motto is to give our customers the
lowest possible prices and workmanship.

On a maternity room door: Push. Push. Push.

On a Music Teacher’s door: Out Chopin.

On a New York convalescent home: For the sick and tired of
the Episcopal Church

On a plumber’s truck: We repair what your husband fixed.

On a repair shop door: We can repair anything. (Please knock
hard — bell out of order.)

On a restaurant: Try our fish just for the halibut.

On a roller coaster: Watch your head.

On a Scientist’s door: Gone Fission

On a taxidermist’s window: We really know our stuff.

On a Tennessee highway: Take notice: when this sign is under
water, this road is impassable.

On an electrician’s truck: Let us remove your shorts.

On an established New Mexico dry cleaning store:
Thirty-eight years on the same spot.

On an United Airlines emergency exit row instruction card:
If you cannot read this card…

On another Butcher’s window: Pleased to meat you.

On the door of a Computer Store: Out for a quick byte.

On the door of a Music Library: Bach in a min-u-et.

On the grounds of a private school in Connecticut: No
trespassing without permission.

On the menu of a New Orleans restaurant: Blackened bluefish

On the wall of a Baltimore estate: Trespassers will be
prosecuted to the full extent of the law. – Sisters of Mercy

Outside a country shop in West Virginia: We buy junk and
sell antiques.

Outside a disco: Smarts is the most exclusive disco in town.
Everyone welcome.

Outside a farm: Horse manure, pre-packed bags, $10. Or,
do-it-yourself, $1.

Outside a Hotel: Help! We need inn-experienced people.

Outside a muffler shop: No appointment necessary. We heard
you coming.

Outside a photographer’s studio: Out to lunch; if not back
by five, out for dinner.

Outside a radiator repair shop: Best place in town to take a
leak.

Outside a second-hand store: We exchange anything -
bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful
bargain.

Pizza shop slogan: 7 days without pizza makes one Weak.

Plumber: We repair what your husband Fixed.

Quicksand warning: Quicksand. Any person passing this point
will be drowned. By order of the District Council.

Seen during a conference: For anyone who has children and
doesn’t know it, there is a day care on the first floor.

Sign at the psychic’s Hotline: Don’t call us, we’ll call
you.

This was seen on a car being towed by a large motor home: I
go where I’m towed to.

Trucks of a local plumbing company in NE Pennsylvania: Don’t
sleep with a drip call your plumber. Continue reading